That's what I keep telling myself.
I love staying home with my kids, and it has been a wonderful summer. A summer full of milestones for Lucas. He's swimming, riding his bike, beginning to read! Iris and I have spent lots of great moments together. We saw Eddie Vedder live, which inspired her to begin learning to play the Ukelele. We have had late night talks, and shopping trips with friends. She is a wonderful young lady. But summer is drawing to a close and grad school is fast approaching. Which means two nights a week away from my family.
And the first meeting of one of my classes is on Iris' birthday.
Ugh!
She usually starts school on her birthday, but finally, this year she starts the day after her birthday. This has been a source of pure joy for her for quite a while. Unfortunately, the news that I will have class that night has absolutely sucked the happiness out of her school-free birthday.
She wasn't expecting much. Just a quiet family night with cake and a couple of presents. Unfortunately, that can't happen. She is sad and I am sad. I wish that it could be different.
So, before I even attend a class, Mommy Guilt sets in. I knew it would come, but I had no idea how soon. I know this may be the first moment I miss because I am doing something to buid a career for myself, but it won't be the last.
Going back to school is a very important goal to me, and I believe that it will be a huge benefit to our family in the long run. I am enormously blessed to have this opportunity, and I realize that. Still, everything has a price, and those missed moments are not an easy price to pay.
